Tell me, how many times can this story be told? After all of these years, it should all sound so old. But it somehow rings true in the back of my mind as I search for a dream that words can no longer define.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra “What Child Is This?”

Once upon a time, I was a religious person. I tried so hard to conform to the mold that I never quite fit in. The closer I got to conforming, the more I thought that something was missing—perhaps the very thing that I was looking for. The religion that was meant to give my life meaning left me more alone and empty than ever.

I wandered away from the religious affiliations I held in the past. In the wandering, something unexpected happened—my faith deepened and changed into something far more real.

I never stopped believing that God exists. I just couldn’t figure out where to find Him. I didn’t understand that I’d been searching with my eyes closed—asleep. I didn’t know that once I started waking up and opening my eyes, I’d see more glimpses of glory than I ever thought possible.

Something about the story of Immanuel—God with us—has always rung true in the back of my own mind. I have searched and grasped at dreams that I could never quite define. I still can’t fully put it into words, but part of it is redemption and relationship. That’s what the Christmas story is about, and why it’s always drawn me. The promise of redemption—that beauty will be forged from the ashes. The prelude to the tearing of the veil—a relationship begun here to be fully realized when I stand on the other side of eternity.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. All things were created through Him, and apart from Him not one thing was created that has been created. Life was in Him, and that life was the light of men. That light shines in the darkness, yet the darkness did not overcome it.

John 1:1-5 HCSB

Light, life, and the drawing near of the divine—a dream searched for that can’t be contained in mere words.