“It’s hard when you miss people. But, you know, if you miss them it means you were lucky. It means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing.” – Nathan Scott
Six years. Mom has been gone for six years today.
Last year, I finally emptied out the tin of coffee that had been sitting in my kitchen cabinet for five years. Try as I might though, I couldn’t bring myself to throw out her lipstick and perfume though.
Mom used to wear bright pink lipstick. She didn’t tend to wear much of any makeup, but before she left the house she always put on her lipstick. Today I took the caps off her lipstick and smiled over how bright they were before finally letting them go.
Mom didn’t buy expensive perfume. I was never particularly fond of the kind she wore, but over the years I always associated that scent with Mom. When I opened one of the bottles today, there was a lump in my throat. One of the bottles went, and one is still sitting in my bathroom cabinet. I guess I’m not quite ready to let go of everything.
Six years is a long time. Not so long that I don’t still miss her terribly though. I’m used to it most days, but some days are harder than others. As much as I miss her, I wouldn’t wish her back. That may sound like a bit of a contradiction, but I don’t think it is. I think of Mom finally laying down all of the burdens that she carried here on Earth. How could I ever ask her to pick them up again?
2 Timothy 4:7 fits Mom perfectly, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Like Christian in The Pilgrim’s Progress, Mom finished her journey. She is in the presence of the King! Knowing that she is well and at peace brings me comfort despite the grief.
I have my own path stretching out before me, and missing Mom is part of that. I wonder about what she might have said to me and I think she would have told me, “Just keep going. Keep trusting God no matter what.”