Because the FTC has nothing better to do than make life difficult for us bloggers, I’m required to disclose the following at the beginning of this post: I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I received no monetary compensation, and the opinions expressed, whether positive or negative are completely my own. Personally, I’m waiting for sponsorship disclaimers from all of the politicians in DC, but I’ll probably be waiting a long time…
When I had the chance to be part of a launch team for a book called The Brave Art of Motherhood it was the word brave that caught my eye. The tagline sold me: Fight Fear, Gain Confidence, and Find Yourself Again. I’d never heard of Rachel Martin before, but oh man, I want to be brave so badly. Fighting fear to boot? I’ve never quite grown out of being that scared kid sitting on the floor of my room next to the closet. I need all the brave and fear fighting I can get.
What I didn’t expect to get from Rachel’s book was the push I needed. I’ve read the suggestion a few times that someone who went through abuse or trauma during their childhood may find writing their whole story down to be helpful in the healing process. I’ve written bits and pieces here and there, but no matter how many times I tried to write the whole story, I just never could. I kept giving up. I knew that it was something I needed to do, eventually. Reading The Brave Art of Motherhood is what it took to make me decide that this year for NaNoWriMo, I’m not writing a completely fictional novel. I’m writing my memoir. I’ve set an end date, made the commitment to do this, and I’m not going back. Whether or not I’ll ever let anyone else read it is something that I haven’t decided yet. I’m not writing this one with an eye for publication. I’m writing it so that I can let go of some of the past and finally, finally let some of the damage start to heal.
Why did I decide to use that for my NaNo project though? Why not just write it? I need the end date. It was this excerpt from The Brave Art of Motherhood that made me see the importance of that, “Don’t listen to the voice of fear of the unknown and let that override the bravery it takes to write the end date. This is the moment when you get to decide your path. You must have a date you want this done, completed…. Keep it in your head and you risk it staying there. Write it down and you risk it happening.” All those failed attempts at writing the whole story, and the one thing I never did was set a time frame.
There’s something healing about writing for me; it’s how I’m able to process the things that I can’t make sense of or come to terms with any other way. I’m tired of my past holding me, of it hurting me, and I want to break this cycle of being stuck in the memories.
“… in Haiti I made a conscious and powerful decision never to return to the mindset of victim. I was no longer going to allow others or circumstances to limit my ethos or potential.” — Rachel Marie Martin
That’s what I want. I want to stop being the damsel in distress, and start being the protagonist of my story. I want to be the brave one. The one who – despite all of the setbacks, struggles, and many mistakes I’ve made – keeps moving forward. By the grace of God, this farmgirl is going to find her voice.