“Mom made this look easy.”

I find myself saying that often. I also wonder if she ever felt half as unprepared as I do when one of the kids throws me a new curveball. I’ve discovered that she was right when she said, “Just wait until you have kids…” And I really wish that I could say all of that to her.

Thankfully, mom and I didn’t leave things unsaid. It didn’t bother me that I didn’t have the chance to speak to her one last time before she died. She knew that I loved her very much, and I’d thanked her for many of the things that she’d done. But five years ago, I didn’t know what I do today.

Five years ago, I had no idea that time and hard work that it took to homeschool. Sure, I was glad that she’d homeschooled me, but I had no idea what that really took.

It used to irritate me to no end that she always saw through whatever front I’d try to put up. She knew when there was something wrong. I think that moms always do. I had no clue how much I’d miss it.

I want to sit at her table over a cup of tea, and have her hug me and tell me that everything will be OK. Most of all though, I want to thank her once more for all of the times that she did that.

I know I’m not the only one out there who will be desperately missing my mother tomorrow. I wish I could send hugs to all of you. I hope the good memories make you smile.