I Must be Getting Old…

The wedding quilt is done!!!! Actually, it has been finished for a little over a week now. Good thing, since the wedding is tomorrow. I feel like I should include a certificate of authenticity because, yes, this quilt really WAS hand-quilted, by me. Seriously. The really crazy thing is, I’ve started hand-quilting a quilt for Munchkin. This may become an obsession on the same level as knitting. I’ve had to take a short break from the hand-quilting because of a quilt-related injury. I can’t quilt with a thimble. I’ve tried, and I just can’t do it. So, I poked the eye of the needle rather deep into my thumb. Trying to quilt only pokes the needle back into the injured spot, and tears and shouts are the result. So, I will have to let my thumb heal up a bit. In the mean time, I’m sewing on another quilt top, and knitting Mr. Q’s birthday sweater. J Plenty to keep me busy!

My sister and I took the kiddos to visit our aunt, one of Mom’s sisters, yesterday. It was a wonderful visit, and we both enjoyed seeing her. She showed us her first quilt! She pieced it and is in the process of hand quilting it! Mom would be so proud of her!!! It is a beautiful quilt, and I have to admit that her hand-quilting stitches are smaller than mine! It makes me smile to think of how excited Mom would have been about her sister’s first quilt.

I’ve discovered that I’m getting gray. I’m really going gray! In just the past couple of months, I’ve started going gray! I had no idea that I was quite so vain, but the white hair thing is really bugging me! I’m going to go find a box of hair color and have my sister color it for me. OK, stop laughing now. Really, I mean it, stop laughing, it’s not funny… Maybe there is a bit of my grandmother in me after all. She was gray by the time she was 30, and she colored her hair too. Can anyone recommend some good red haircolor???

I had a moment during this past week when I put the kids down for their nap, sat with my head in my hands and thought, “I really wish that I knew what I was doing!” I began to wonder if Mom ever had those moments. Moments when we don’t have a clue what to do. I think that perhaps all mothers have these moments, at least, I hope that I’m not alone in this! I wish that I could go back to the time when I was little, and perhaps Mom felt discouraged and tired, and just put my arms around her and tell her, “You’re doing great. Don’t worry, you’re the best mom that those two little girls could ask for. And one day, they will tell you that themselves.”

One of Mom’s friends said something to me earlier this week that has really stuck with me. She said that even though I only had Mom for 28 years, Mom gave me more in those 28 years than some daughters get in an entire lifetime. There is so much truth in that. Mom gave us so much of herself. I guess that means that there is that much more to miss. Still, I would not trade one second of my life with Mom for anything. The grief is deep, because the love was deep. The irony of life. The more we love someone, the more we are affected by their absence. It makes me long even more for the day when there will be no more good-byes, no more tears. And until that day, grace. Grace for the moment.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *