A very large mug of Lady Grey tea is steeping, and the cream scones are out of the oven. I need tea and scones tonight.
Today I said to my husband, “No matter how hard I try, I just can’t… get it together.”
Lunch was a couple of hours late today, and quite a bit of it wound up stuck to the pan. It took me an hour and a half to finish unloading and reloading the dishwasher. Our bedtime reading consisted of our science and Bible lessons, because that’s the only way that I could get them in today. I have writing projects that I need to work on tonight, and then there’s the pile of reading that I still have to get through. I’m trying to decide whether I have to make another batch of bread right now, or if what we have will be enough for tomorrow. Right now, I feel so tired.
I wish I could ask Mom about it. I wonder if she felt like this when she was my age. Was she overwhelmed by all of the things that needed to be done? I’m kind of betting that all moms do.
That’s probably why the idea of attending a conference, any conference, appeals to me at this moment. A whole weekend of someone else taking care of the kids, the house, the cooking, and the laundry? Where do I sign up?! Of course, then I crunch the numbers and realize that the cost of such an event is more than my entire homeschooling budget for the year…
The truth is, I’m in the trenches of being a mom right now. And when you’re in the trenches, the only thing you can see is how hard and exhausting it is. You don’t really understand just how short these years are. My kids will be grown up before I know it. My house will be quiet, too quiet I’m sure!
Mom used to quote Romans 12:8 & 9, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
There’s nothing like having a family to make you come face to face with your own weakness. When it seems that everyone needs something, yet I have nothing left to give, that’s when grace comes in. It’s only by God’s grace and His strength that I can keep going. I sure can’t do it on my own! And I can’t be the only one here in the trenches who needs heaps of grace. If you’re out here with me, I just want you to remember that you’re not the only one trying to somehow muddle through. And if God can “even make a way in the wilderness” (Isaiah 43:19), then He can get us and our families through this too.
In the end, what I really have to remember is this: God’s grace will always, always, be enough to get me through. No matter what.